MAGGIE’S MEOW: Down Humor Lane

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By MAGGIE ISHINO

Laughter is the greatest medicine and most of all, enjoyable. It does the soul good to laugh. Laughter releases tension and gives a new lift on life. It is said “To err is human, to forgive is divine,” but to me, laughter is divine.

A very dear friend of mine took a tour to the Holy Land. She is a cat lover. In Jerusalem, she saw a beautiful cat sitting on the pavement. She stooped down and said, “Here, Kitty. Here, Kitty.” The cat just sat there, but when she said, “Shalom, shalom,” the cat came running toward her.

I was at Vons behind a senior citizen who handed the clerk a check without his telephone number on it. She asked him, “May I have your telephone number?” After he gave it to her, he asked, “What’s yours”?

My friends and I were having lunch together and the matter of age came up. I asked my friend sitting across from me, “How old were you when your mother was born?” She looked at me and said, “What did you just ask me, Maggie?”

My brother said to his friend standing next to him, “Your shirt tail is sticking out.” The friend tucked his shirt into his pants and said, “Well, that’s the end of that tail.”

One of the most intensive courses I took in college was philosophy. During a difficult mid-term exam, the professor called roll. When she called my name, I answered, “True.” A male student immediately asked, “Which one?” Of course, I inadvertently disrupted the class.

The following semester, I registered for the world religion course. It was the same professor I had for philosophy. When I went to her desk to enroll, she gave me a big smile and said, “Well, if it isn’t my ‘true’ student.”

Just for the fun of it, I used to answer the phone with “Meow,” instead of the normal “Hello.” One evening I answered the phone with a loud “MEOW.” The man on the other end answered, “Bow wow” and much to my regret, hung up.

I waited for the bus more than 30 minutes. As I entered the bus showing my bus pass, I asked the bus driver, “Do you run every 30 minutes?” He smiled and said, “No, I run every week.”

One of my co-workers was eating a doughnut, so I said, “Don’t forget to eat the hole.” He said, “Yeah, that’s the best part.”

While standing on the corner waiting for a bus, I heard a mother say to her daughter, “Did you see the car that just passed by with five smiling sisters?”

Daughter: “How do you know they were sisters?”

Mother: “Because they were nuns.”

(I also saw the car and the nuns seemed to be having a good time)

A senior in high school was about to graduate, so he asked his father for a car as a graduation present.

Father: “If you do your homework without complaining, get better grades and cut your long hair, I’ll buy you a car.”

Nearing graduation, the son said, “I haven’t complained about my homework and my grades have improved.”

Father: “That’s true, but you haven’t cut your hair.”

Son: “Well, Samson, Jesus and Moses all had long hair.”

Father: “Yes, but they walked, didn’t they?”

A doctor was having a problem with his toilet, so he called a plumber. The plumber said, “Put an aspirin in the tank and call me in the morning.”

A belated “thank you” to reader “J. Price,” who sent me a kind letter and a humorous story sent to her by a friend, entitled “Pastor’s Cat.” I enjoyed it very much.
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone.
Meow and ha, ha.

Maggie Ishino is a Rafu typist. She can be reached at [email protected] Opinions expressed in this column are not necessarily those of The Rafu Shimpo.

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