HORSE’S MOUTH: I’m Glad I’m Not a Pig or a Cow



(Published April 11, 2015)

It’s a good thing my wife is around to remind me when it’s Sunday or Wednesday. Those are the days when I pound out my column and those are the days when it slips my mind that it’s time to write the “Horse’s Mouth.”

Yeah, when I’ve been at this for so many years, it’s easy to forget when it’s column time.

Wednesday, I was sitting on the front porch of our house watching the traffic flow by on our street. That’s when she poked her head out of the front door and said, “Don’t you have to write your column today?”

“Oh, my gosh,” I responded. “You’re right.”

So, here is my Saturday column.

Needless to say, I had to think about what to write about, and that isn’t as simple as it seems.

It’s even tougher later in the week to write my Saturday “Mouth,” especially when I don’t get out to see what’s going on in our community.

In the old days when I used to jump in my car and drive to Little Tokyo, it was easier to gather column material because I bumped into friends who would say, “What are you going to write for today’s column?”

Usually, those posing such a question would provide me with information that I could use to fill most of the space allotted to me by Editor Gwen.

There are a lot of activities going on in our community. In the old days, I used to get a lot of invitations to community events, which made it easier to do two columns a week. Today, it’s not so.

I used to travel around a lot. Places like Las Vegas, where I would meet a lot of Rafu readers who would give me stuff that made good reading.

Yes, I would attend a lot of sporting events, but I’ve cut those out of my schedule, so I have to bounce around to pick out my column material in other areas.


Yes, Vegas used to provide me with a lot of material because those who visited the Nevada city did have a lot of interesting chatter. However, as most of you who follow my column know, I don’t make it up there anymore. Now I’m down to once in two years.

That’s right. Just once every two years, and most of you know my Vegas schedule used to be about twice a month.

Of course, if any of you want to offer me a ride to Vegas, give me a call and I’ll be packed and ready. Heh, heh.

Let’s face it, there’s no better place to spend two to three days than The Cal in Downtown Vegas.

It’s not only the gaming there. I would meet a lot of friends and relatives from Honolulu and Maui. Since I don’t get to the Islands anymore (like I used to), meeting friends and relatives from Hawaii was one of my “tanoshimi” in going to Vegas, and they tell me the same thing about bumping into each other at The Cal.

Most of the relatives come over in large numbers, so we have a lot of fun. Since my wife is from Maui, we do get a lot of kicks out of chatting with each other.

Yes, they all bring me “goodies” from the Islands. Not great for my waistline, but what the heck, at my age, why worry about beginning to look like Santa Claus? Heh, heh.

For health reasons, I can’t drive to Vegas anymore, but I sure can sit in the back seat and doze off.

In the meanwhile, yes, I am allowed to make the shorter drive to the Indian casinos in Southern California. My favorite place is Pechanga, which is a little over a hour from Gardena. Not as much fun at The Cal or Main Street Street in Downtown Vegas, but still a lot of fun.


I thought the following sentences might amuse you:

  • When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
  • A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.
  • What’s the definition of a will? It’s a dead giveaway.
  • Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  • In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
  • She was engaged to a boyfriend with wooden leg but broke it off.
  • A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
  • If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
  • With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
  • The man who fell into an upholstering machine is fully recovered.
  • You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budget it.
  • Local Area Network in Australia — the LAN down under.
  • Every calendar’s days are numbered.


I guess I’ve told the story before, but when I was placed in Santa Anita Assembly Center along with thousands of other JAs, I was given the nickname “Horse.”

Glad someone didn’t suggest “Cow,” although a few hinted that it might better describe me than “Horse.” I glad that I didn’t end up as “The Cow’s Mouth.”

As we know, a lot of Japanese Americans were handed nicknames. I could think of least a half-dozen nicknames given to my Nisei friends, so “Horse” ain’t so bad.

I can’t imagine being called a “Pig’s Ass” or a “Cow’s Butt,” but I’m sure some readers might want to do so. Heh. Heh.

See ya on Tuesday.

George Yoshinaga writes from Gardena and can be reached at [email protected] Opinions expressed in this column are not necessarily those of The Rafu Shimpo.



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